Seeking live-in Certified Nurse Assistant. The right individuals must have pleasant personalities, a caring and professional demeanor and the ability to bond with the people under their care. LIVE-IN POSITIONS are 3 or 4 days. Please note - you must remain in the clients' homes for the duration of the 4 day or 3 day rotation respectively. If you are not able to stay for those periods of time, please DO NOT apply. The positions are based in St. Louis County area. Must pass background check, interviewing process, and have reliable transportation. References - a must. Serious inquiries only please!
I'm writing to help spread the word. If anyone considers using you and your firm, please have them call me. This past year, I "inherited" you from the parties that hired you to help with my ninety two year old uncle. I was hyper-vigilant. The more I observed, the more I was convinced the right call had been made. Without exception every situation that presented, you and your splendid staff rose to, and often went beyond, the call of duty. I especially recall your frequent personal visits, and your staff's positive disposition. You can't pay people to care. They do or they don't. You and your crew clearly care deeply. (I was recently involved in the care of my late parents. I'm sorry they didn't get to meet you.) And please accept my deepest gratitude for you and your staff's efforts.
- Bob Holtz
I see it everyday, elderly people just like me....independent, stubborn and won't accept needed assistance! Although these are great qualities they can also be a burden to those who are trying to help us. A great article featured on Care.Com written by Elizabeth Pope explains how to help a parent who refuses care.
Your mother resists in-home helpers, insisting you can wait on her. Your frail father won't stop driving. Your aunt denies the need for a personal care aide, in spite of her unwashed hair and soiled clothes. Your grandmother refuses to move to an assisted living facility "because it's full of old people."
Sound familiar? Nothing is harder for a family caregiver than an elder loved one who refuses needed help. "This is one of the most common and difficult caregiving challenges that adult kids face," says Donna Cohen, Ph.D. a clinical psychologist and author of "The Loss of Self: A Family Resource for the Care of Alzheimer's Disease and Related Disorders."
Before pushing your mother too hard to accept help, try to understand her fears about aging, says Cohen: "Many older people see themselves as proud survivors. They think 'I've been through good times and bad, so I'll be fine on my own.' Plus, they don't believe their children understand the physical and emotional toll of age-related declines."
A senior in the early stages of cognitive impairment may be the most difficult to deal with. "Your angry father or agitated mother is aware of this miserable change in their brain they don't quite understand," Cohen adds. Calm reassurance will help them cope with a frightening loss of function.
It's normal for family caregivers to experience rage, helplessness, frustration and guilt while trying to help an intransigent older loved one, says Barbara Kane, co-author of "Coping with Your Difficult Older Parent: A Guide for Stressed-Out Children." "You may revert to the same coping mechanisms you had during adolescent power struggles with your parent -- screaming, yelling or running out of the room," she says. "You need to understand what parental behaviors trigger your emotional response and realize you have other choices." (And Kane advises considering seeing a therapist yourself if necessary to deal with a difficult parent.)
Here are nine strategies to help you overcome the objections of a recalcitrant loved one:
Ideally, families have relaxed conversations about caregiving long before a health crisis. Look for opportunities to ask questions like, "Mom, where do you see yourself getting older?" or "How would you feel about hiring a housekeeper or driver so you could stay home?"
Ask open-ended questions and give your loved one time to answer, says Care.comSenior Care advisor Mary Stehle, LCSW. "You can say, 'Dad, what's it like to take care of Mom 24 hours a day?'." But be warned: Conversations may be repetitive and tangential, veering off-topic. It may take several talks to discover the reason your mother, a meticulous housekeeper, has fired five aides in a row is simply that they neglected to vacuum under the dining room table.
Ask questions to determine why an elder refuses help -- then you can tailor a solution, says Kane. "Is it about a lack of privacy, fears about the cost of care, losing independence or having a stranger in the house?" says Kane. To build trust, listen with empathy and validate rather than deny your loved one's feelings. (Learn more about starting a conversation about care with your parent)
If possible, include your parent in interviews or in setting schedules, says Stehle. Let them choose certain days of the week or times of day to have a home health aide come. Emphasize an aide will be a companion for walks, concerts, museum visits and other favorite activities. (Find a senior care aide.)
Recruit Outsiders Early
"Sometimes it's easier for a parent to talk to a professional rather than a family member," says Cohen. Don't hesitate to ask a social worker, a doctor or nurse, a priest or minister -- even an old poker buddy -- to suggest your parent needs help.
Make two lists, says Cohen, one for your loved one's problems and another for the steps you've already taken -- and where to get more help. "If you don't categorize your efforts, caregiving becomes this huge weight," says Cohen. Writing it down and numbering by priority can relieve a lot of stress.
Use Indirect Approaches
If your father has dementia, offering less information may be more effective at times, suggests Stehle. "You could let your parent know the aide is someone very helpful who can take your father on walks, fix him meals, and help him throughout the day. You don't need to explain every aspect of care the aide will provide before the relationship has been formed. This may make your loved one feel less threatened."
Take it Slow
Weave a new aide in gradually, says Kane. Start with short home visits or meet for coffee, then bring the aide along to the doctor's a few weeks later. "You leave early on some pretext, letting the aide accompany your parent home."
Accept Your Limits
As long as seniors are not endangering themselves or others, let them make their own choices, says Cohen. "You can't be at your parent's side all the time. Bad things can happen, and you can't prevent them," she says. "You need to accept limits on what you can accomplish and not feel guilty." It may sound unfeeling, but maybe going a day or two without meals is just the reality check an elder needs to welcome a badly needed helping hand.
If you would like more information on Home Care Solutions of St. Louis and how we can assist you and your elderly parents please contact us, we would love to hear from you!
Home Care Solutions of St. Louis takes a comprehensive approach to in-home care, our program consists of access to home and community based services for older adults and their loved ones. Our program is designed to help the elderly maintain independence by arranging for appropriate services that are readily available for you or your loved one in the community.
With so many options of senior care available it can be overwhelming to decide what the best choices are. Home Care Solutions of St. Louis are experts in helping to find the right services for a person’s situation. There are a wide range of senior care services available throughout St. Louis to help seniors maintain their independence, self- sufficiency and well-being. Home Care Solutions of St. Louis care managers are experienced professionals who can help you find the services and providers that are best for your situation.
Our Services Include but not limited to:
· FREE initial assessment and consultation
· Case Management
· In-Home Nursing Care
· In-Home Physical Therapy
· In-Home Occupational Therapy
· In-Home Exercise Program
· Up to round-the-clock care as required
· Assistance with activities of daily living, such as eating, bathing, dressing and toileting
· Mobility assistance (in/out of home)
· Medication Reminders
· Medical equipment consultation
We are committed to helping you find the best senior care services and solution to meet your needs at home! If you are interested in learning more about Home Care Solutions of St. Louis please call or email us. We would love to hear from you!!
More than 1 out of 3 seniors in America is a veteran or the widow or spouse of a veteran. If this describes you or a loved one and if non-medical care in the home is needed, you may be eligible for the Veterans Administration’s Pension with Aid and Attendance benefit of up to $25,440 per year that can pay for a caregiver. Home Care Solutions of St. Louis has a partnership with Veterans Care Coordination, and can assist in determining eligibility for the benefit. If you or your loved one qualifies, we can help you move through the process and can coordinate care. In certain situations, no-interest loan assistance can be provided to help with qualification and to start care quickly. Lack of knowledge means that very few people who qualify for this benefit ever take advantage of it, so be sure and contact our office if you think this may apply to you.
A few points of eligibility for Pension with Aid and Attendance
• Veteran must have served during a period of war. Combat or overseas service is not required, as long as the veteran was activated.
• Veteran or spouse must have a medical condition which demonstrates a need for home care services.
• Veteran or spouse must meet certain asset requirements. A home and a car are not counted towards asset limits.
• Veteran or spouse must meet a monthly income-to medical expense ratio.
For more information on Home Care Solutions of St. Louis or to receive a free in home assessment today please contact us. We would be honored to meet with you!